Is Change a Dirty Word?
by Louise Schultz
Running a lingerie company for the past decade has taught me that humans who are comfortable in their skin are the ones who radiate with the most joie de vivre – regardless of age or body type. Through my own personal self-care journey, I have learned to finally give myself permission to love myself for everything that I am and to practice all the pleasure that I deserve.
All of this fighting against aging and trying to keep up with the ideals of staying young is kind of exhausting, isn’t it? Anti-aging miracle cures aim to make us feel like we’re less desirable if we’re not as pétillantes (sparkling) as our youthful selves. But what if we changed that narrative from Anti to Pro?
We are Profound. We are Proactive. We are Prolific. We welcome changes; the ones that are out of our hands, and the ones that we can somewhat control.
Speaking of controllable changes… Here are some of my favorite resets that have helped me enhance my physical, mental and emotional pleasure. Because feeling good is always in style.
THE POWER OF
N-O. Non, no grazie, nein, khong, niet, nope, nix, nu-huh. “No” is one of the hardest words to get comfortable with. Saying no gives you the power to be in control of your life. Saying no allows you to be honest and authentic – qualities that cultivate healthy relationships. Saying no removes that heavy feeling of being overloaded.
Saying no actually means that you are saying “Yes.” Yes to setting healthy boundaries. Yes to giving yourself clarity on where and how you want to spend your precious energy.
Humans are programmed to love and to be loved. Love is so important in maintaining our overall emotional, mental and physical health.
You’ve probably heard of the sex glow, the afterglow. But there’s a love glow, too. And I’m not just talking about romantic love. Loving relationships between close friends and family are also an integral part of your mental well-being.
Let’s be real. Making friends or meeting new partners can be difficult – so it’s good to stay open minded. The best way to connect with new people is through shared experience. And because you have been practicing your healthy life skill of only saying “yes” to what inspires you, you now have plenty of time to: walk in the park, attend a cultural event, join a networking group, show up at a local neighborhood activity, take a class, or do whatever else it is that you want to do.
Hey there! I’m talking to you. Put down your phone and be present – in the coffee shop, at the checkout line. I met my husband Gary 25 years ago in a grocery store. You never know who you’ll meet, especially if you’re sending out open and approachable vibes.
Sleep. Our body’s natural remedy that repairs cells, restores energy, processes toxins and supports healthy brain function.
Waking up tired every morning is not a normal part of aging so if you can’t talk to anyone before your cup of coffee or feel sleepy during the day, make it a priority to improve your sleep habits. Adjust your schedule to get those 7-8 hours of ZZZ’s and stop bringing your tablets and phones to bed… (pleasure devices permitted!)
Playing music as white-noise sets a calm mood (my go-to is ocean waves). Practicing mindful meditation or deep breathing are game changers (it keeps you present). Your bedroom should be a sanctuary only for sleep and sex.
Physical intimacy (releases oxytocin – the cuddle hormone) can have a calming effect and lead to restful sleep. Having an orgasm releases endorphins and serotonin for that feeling of one-with-your-mattress, no-care-in-the-world, magical sleep.
When we show up as our authentic selves, we are giving ourselves permission to live a more satisfying life. We are constantly bombarded with messages of what “perfection” looks like. “Perfect” – now THAT’S a dirty word.
Realistic goals are key! As we age, there is no question that keeping in shape becomes more difficult. Ditch the all-or-nothing attitude. We don’t have to run miles or sweat head-to-head on a fancy stationary bike to achieve the physical and emotional benefits of exercise. What’s most important is to make physical movement an enjoyable part of your everyday life.
Food also influences how we look and feel – shifting our mindsets from dieting to our daily diets is a much more delicious way of life. When we prioritize nutritious vibrant foods loaded with healthy fats, water and essential nutrients, our body shows its appreciation with glowing skin and higher energy levels.
Be kind to yourself – self compassion and keeping it real increases our likelihood for success.
Focusing on self-care is what we do for ourselves that reminds us that we are important.
Set aside some time for yourself DAILY. A cup of tea, self-massage, breath work, yoga, gardening – or whatever brings you a sense of peace. It’s a very grounding way to inject mindfulness into your day.
Yes, we are all mind-spinning busy and it takes a conscious effort to focus on self-care. But this is your moment to reinvent yourself after years of focusing on the needs of everyone else.
Whether you are perimenopausal or have hit full-on menopause – everyone’s journey is different from hot flashes to lubrication to libido levels. Menopause can take its toll, so the better we treat our bodies, the more comfortable we will continue to enjoy a healthy sex life.
Our bodies might still produce natural lubrication – but using lube is definitely an experience-changer. Make sure to pay attention to the ingredients and look for all-natural lubricants free of toxins and with ingredients that don’t disrupt your vulva’s delicate PH balance.
We often hear that childbirth is the culprit for vaginal tissue weakening. But did you know that lack of physical activity and menopause can also trigger those changes?
What are you waiting for? It’s time to work out – your intimate parts! Kegels, also known as pelvic floor exercises, can help maintain healthy bladder control, increase sexual pleasure and sensation, and more intense orgasms!
Personally, I'm motivated by the benefits; however, the chance of me doing daily sets of Kegels to rebuild vaginal muscle tissue is as likely as me doing 250 sit-ups daily to get a flat stomach. Thank goodness for body-safe solutions like vibrating weighted balls that you can discreetly wear and Kegel trainers that can effortlessly build back and maintain pelvic muscle strength.
Remember. Sex is not the only way to feel close to your partner. Kissing, caressing, and other nonsexual acts of intimacy can also help boost your sex drive by creating an emotional bond between you and your partner.
Cheers to embracing change and what you can control!
Age is just a number – I would rather count my experiences and connections with humans.
My mission at Afterglo is dedicated to inspiring humans to take more time for self-care and embrace what brings them true pleasure.
Tap into your fierceness, your sexiness, your agelessness, your authentic self.
As a businesswoman, wife and mother, Louise’s default state has always been to take care of everyone else first. Through her journey of finding balance, she was able to break free from the notion that self-care is selfish. Being confident in your intimate space and living a more mindful life are two journeys that combine and intertwine. With Afterglo, Louise wants to promote being kind and listening — to yourself, your body and your overall sexual wellness.