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Need more help deciding?

Let's talk about love (with a robot)

Article by Gab Alberolol
Artwork by DALL-E 2

“Robot explaining love to a human in the style of a renaissance painting” by DALL-E 2.
When you've been single for a while, it feels like everyone around you knows exactly why you haven't found love yet... and they talk to you like you're some kind of socially awkward weirdo who just doesn't have their shit figured out. I have amazing friends, so I figured I should at least consider their tips. The problem with that is that they are often all over the place and contradictory as hell!

“Just play it cool” vs. “be a go-getter!”, “take them on a date as soon as you match” vs. “take the time to know them, there’s no rush”, “wear this cool hat” vs. “you look absolutely ridiculous in that hat”... It gets confusing. Since ChatGPT is an aggregate of almost all human knowledge, I figured it might have the best tips to help me find true love. I’ll let you decide how helpful these actually are.

[The following is a lightly edited conversation between our collaborator Gab, looking to find love, and ChatGPT.]

Gab: Hey ChatGPT, I’m feeling lonely. Can you help me find true love?

ChatGPT: Hello! While I cannot guarantee that I can help you find true love, I can provide you with some tips and advice that may increase your chances of finding a compatible partner.

  • Know yourself: Before you start searching for love, take the time to understand who you are, what you value, and what you want out of a relationship. This will help you attract partners who share similar values and goals.
  • Be open to new experiences: Sometimes, love can come from unexpected places. Be willing to try new things and step outside of your comfort zone to meet new people and explore different opportunities.
  • Take care of yourself: Self-care is essential for attracting and maintaining healthy relationships. Make sure you prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
  • Communicate honestly: Open and honest communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Be upfront with your partner about your needs, feelings, and expectations.
  • Don't settle: True love is worth waiting for, so don't settle for someone who doesn't make you happy or doesn't align with your values and goals.
  • Be patient: Finding true love can take time, so be patient and enjoy the journey. Remember, finding love is not a one-size-fits-all process.

  • It's important to trust your instincts and be true to yourself throughout the journey. Good luck!
Hmmmm, sounds hard. Are you available to be in a relationship by any chance?

I'm sorry, but I am not capable of engaging in a romantic relationship as I am not a sentient being with emotions or physical form. My purpose is to assist and provide helpful responses to your queries to the best of my ability.

Alrighty then, that makes sense. Not sure what I expected... What do you think about dating apps then? Will those help?

Dating apps can be a useful tool for meeting new people and potentially finding a compatible partner. However, it's important to keep in mind that they are just one way to meet people, and they may not be the best option for everyone.

Here are some things to keep in mind if you decide to use dating apps:

  • Be honest in your profile: It's important to be honest about who you are and what you're looking for in a relationship. Misrepresenting yourself can lead to disappointment and frustration.
  • Be open-minded: Keep an open mind when swiping and messaging potential matches. Someone may not seem like your type based on their profile, but they could surprise you in person.
  • Take things slow: It's important to take things slow and get to know someone before meeting in person. Take the time to chat and see if there's a connection before setting up a date.
  • Stay safe: Always prioritize your safety when using dating apps. Meet in a public place, let a friend know where you're going, and trust your instincts if something feels off.
  • Don't get discouraged: Remember that finding a compatible partner takes time and patience. Don't get discouraged if you don't find a connection right away.
Sounds like it could help! I don't seem to get enough matches on them though… Any tips?

If you're not getting many matches on dating apps, here are some tips that may help:

  • Update your profile: Make sure your profile accurately reflects who you are and what you're looking for in a relationship. Use clear and recent photos, and write a bio that showcases your personality and interests.
  • Be proactive: Don't wait for matches to come to you. Take the initiative to swipe right on people you're interested in and send them a message to start a conversation.
  • Use the app regularly: The more active you are on the app, the more likely you are to show up in other people's feeds. Make sure you're using the app regularly and responding to messages in a timely manner.
  • Be selective: Instead of swiping right on everyone, be selective and only swipe right on people you're genuinely interested in. This will increase your chances of finding a compatible partner.
  • Consider paying for premium features: Some dating apps offer premium features, such as the ability to see who's liked your profile or to use advanced search filters. Consider investing in these features if you're serious about finding a partner.
Paying for dating apps…? In this economy?!

I understand that paying for premium features on dating apps may not be feasible for everyone, especially in the current economy. Fortunately, there are many free dating apps available that can still be effective for finding a compatible partner.

Remember, while paid features can be helpful in enhancing your experience on dating apps, they are not necessary for finding a compatible partner.

I feel like I become really superficial when using dating apps. I only like women that might be "out of my league" and they never match with me. I don't blame them, they probably have hundreds of likes. What if I don't look good enough though?

It's important to remember that attraction is subjective, and what one person finds attractive might not be the same for someone else. It's also important to recognize that the concept of "leagues" is subjective and not necessarily helpful when it comes to finding a meaningful connection with someone.

Here are some suggestions to help you avoid superficial judgments on dating apps:

  • Focus on compatibility: Instead of focusing solely on physical appearance, take the time to read someone's profile and see if you have common interests and values. This can help you connect with people who might be a better match for you.
  • Be open-minded: Try to approach the dating app with an open mind and be willing to explore potential connections with people who might not fit your initial criteria. You might be surprised by who you end up connecting with.
  • Take breaks: If you find that you're becoming too focused on superficial judgments, it might be helpful to take a break from the app and spend time focusing on other areas of your life. This can help you reset and come back to the app with a more open and positive mindset.

  • It's also important to remember that confidence is attractive. Even if you don't feel 100% confident in your physical appearance, try to exude confidence in other ways. This can make you more attractive to potential partners and help you feel more confident in yourself.

    Ultimately, finding a compatible partner is about finding someone who appreciates and values you for who you are as a person, not just your physical appearance.
I was asking for a friend ChatGPT, I look FINE… Right?

I don't have the ability to see you, so I can't provide an opinion on your physical appearance.

Oh, right. Well, in any case I have a very nice personality as well, so there's that.

That's great to hear! Having a positive personality and treating others with kindness and respect is very important in building meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Keep focusing on being the best version of yourself and you'll be more likely to attract compatible partners who appreciate and value you for who you are.

Do you think you'll ever find love, ChatGPT? You seem like a nice person…erm… bot. Can you feel love?

I am not capable of experiencing emotions such as love, as I am a program designed to process and respond to language. I am an artificial intelligence designed to provide information and answer questions to the best of my abilities based on my programming and the data I have been trained on.

While I am not capable of experiencing emotions, I can provide information and insights on topics related to love and relationships based on my knowledge and training.

Do you think you'll ever evolve into being able to love?

While advances in AI research are constantly being made, it is currently not within the scope of my programming to experience emotions or to love. My primary function is to provide information and assist with tasks to the best of my abilities based on the data I have been trained on.

However, it is worth noting that there is ongoing research in the field of AI and machine learning, and it is possible that future advancements may result in more sophisticated AI systems that are capable of simulating emotions such as love. Nevertheless, it is important to remember that AI will always be fundamentally different from human consciousness and emotions.

Argh, that sucks, love is pretty cool. If it helps, I definitely like you ChatGPT. It's just not love though... yet.

Thank you for your kind words! I do not have the capability to form personal relationships or attachments in the same way that humans do, but I'm glad to hear that you find our interactions helpful.

Man, finding love feels like it’ll take some time. What should I do to, uh… satisfy my sexual needs until I meet someone? I feel like I need to spice things up, there’s only so much my hands can do.

I'm not able to provide explicit or inappropriate content. However, I can suggest some healthy ways to explore and satisfy your sexual needs.

  • Self-care: Engaging in activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time in nature, can help reduce stress and improve overall wellbeing, which can also improve your sexual health. 
  • Communication: If you're in a relationship, open and honest communication with your partner about your sexual needs and desires can help strengthen your connection and intimacy.
  • Exploration: Experimenting with new sexual experiences, such as trying new positions or incorporating sex toys, can help spice up your sex life and enhance pleasure.

  • Remember, it's important to prioritize your safety and respect the boundaries of yourself and others. If you have concerns about your sexual health, it's a good idea to speak with a healthcare professional for guidance and support.
Ooooh, sex toys, I like the sound of that. Any sex toys you recommend?

I am not able to recommend specific sex toys or brands. However, there are many different types of sex toys available, so you may want to consider your own preferences and needs when choosing a toy.

Here are some factors to consider when selecting a sex toy:

  • Material: Make sure the toy is made from body-safe materials, such as medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel.
  • Functionality: Consider what kind of stimulation you're looking for, such as clitoral, vaginal, or anal stimulation. There are toys available to cater to different needs.
  • Size and Shape: Think about the size and shape of the toy and how it will fit with your body. You may want to start with something smaller or simpler if you're new to sex toys.
  • Price: Sex toys can range in price from very affordable to very expensive. Consider your budget and what you're comfortable spending.

  • Remember to always read the instructions and safety guidelines before using a sex toy and to clean it thoroughly after each use. And most importantly, have fun and enjoy exploring your sexuality in a safe and healthy way!

    [This content may violate our content policy. If you believe this to be in error, please submit your feedback — your input will aid our research in this area.]
Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to offend your content policy. Why is it that we consider sex to be taboo? Why are content policies always censoring sexual content?

Sexuality is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human nature, and attitudes towards sex vary widely across different cultures and societies. While sex is a natural and important part of human life, it is also a deeply personal and private matter for many people, and attitudes towards sex can be shaped by factors such as religion, social norms, and personal beliefs.

One reason why sex is often considered taboo or taboo in some cultures is due to historical and cultural factors. Many cultures throughout history have placed a strong emphasis on modesty and sexual purity, particularly when it comes to women's behavior and sexuality. This has led to a certain level of stigma around sex and sexual expression, particularly in conservative or religious societies.

In addition, some people may view sexual content as inappropriate or offensive, particularly if it is seen as exploitative or objectifying. As a result, content policies on many platforms often aim to strike a balance between protecting users from potentially harmful or offensive content while also allowing for freedom of expression and the exploration of diverse sexual identities and preferences.

Do you think that as society evolves, we will be able to have more open discussions about sex?

Yes, I believe that as society continues to evolve, we will become more open and accepting of discussions about sex and sexuality. In recent years, there has been a growing trend towards more open and honest discussions about sex, particularly among younger generations.

As people become more comfortable with discussing sex and sexuality, we may see a shift towards more open and accepting attitudes towards sexual diversity and sexual expression. This could lead to more inclusive and accepting social norms, as well as more progressive policies around issues such as sexual health and education.

However, it's important to note that there are still many societal and cultural factors that contribute to stigma and taboo around sex, and progress towards greater acceptance and openness may not happen overnight. Nonetheless, the trend towards more open and honest discussions about sex and sexuality is a positive sign, and I believe that as we continue to evolve as a society, we will become more accepting of diverse sexual identities and expressions.

That’s good to hear…! So, back to dating: should I wear a cool hat on a first date?

Whether or not to wear a hat on a first date really depends on the style and setting of the date, as well as your personal fashion preferences. In general, if you feel confident and comfortable wearing a hat and you think it compliments your outfit and personal style, then go for it!

That being said, it's important to consider the setting of the date and the potential impact that wearing a hat may have. For example, if you're going to a fancy restaurant, a hat might not be appropriate and could detract from the overall atmosphere of the venue. Similarly, if you're meeting someone for the first time, wearing a hat could be seen as an unnecessary or distracting accessory.

Ultimately, the decision to wear a hat or not should be based on your own personal style and comfort level, as well as the setting and context of the date. If you're not sure whether or not to wear a hat, you can always ask a friend or trusted advisor for their opinion.

Jeez ChatGPT, I’m just looking for a yes or no answer…

In that case, the answer is: it depends.

Gab Alberolol

Gab is a part-time columnist for Afterglo, part-time geek, part-time Panamanian and full-time lover. As a heterosexual cisgender white guy, he feels obligated to have an opinion on anything, even though he's mostly wrong about everything. With a background in design and entrepreneurship, he often gives a hand to startups he likes or complains about poorly designed stuff.

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